Free Time

I took the second exam in a series of four which will hopefully lead to me finishing my degree this summer. It went okay. I say, ok, because although I felt confident with the content, I totally butchered the German. I mean, it was mangled. But hopefully the professor will look-over that, and see through to the content, and be able to judge if I answered the question correctly.

I actually came out of the test 30 minutes short of the 4 hour total, and was welcomed with pouring rain. Biking home I was shivering, but didn't care because the biggest exam albatross had been removed from my neck, and I was feeling pretty free.

Lately, I haven't felt myself too much. I am so stressed out that I don't understand my own thought processes. Also, I have practically aborted my whole life. If it weren't for the fact that I stayed at my boyfriend's last week, I probably would have had no human contact for a week. He took me out to dinner on Wednesday night, because I had literally not left his apartment since Sunday. I was just learning all day long. And eating. And drinking Coke. I don't drink Coke, I am a coffee drinker...but I got sick of coffee. I actually called him at work to ask him to bring more Coke back with him.

That is huge. You have to understand, I am not an “at-work-boyfriend-telephoner.” He was awesome. He would come home, massage my shoulders while I sat at the laptop, make dinner...oh, he bought me ice cream, too.

Which brings me to complaint #23: I haven't done anything mildly athletic in about 2 weeks. Unless you count dancing at the ball...and well, if you saw me dance, I think “athletic” would be the closest thing to a compliment my dancing will ever get.

So, I was feeling stressed out, isolated, and jiggly. Now I feel less stressed out, less isolated, and well, the jiggly I can get over.

I only have two more exams to go. And I feel more confident about those 2 exams, than the two I have already taken. So I am starting to think about “the afterlife.” As in, what will I do with my “free time” then.

I guess, part of me was so focused on last year's deployment that I think I lost myself along the way. It seemed like my goal was my boyfriend's return. And now that he is back, and life goes on, it's almost like I have lost that “hobby”. I don't read the Milblogs as much as I did. I don't scour the net for all the news on Afghanistan. Oh, I definitely still read Milblogs, I just don't feel so involved. Some may call it selfish, but my soldier is home, and I want to spend time with him.

I was getting giddy this afternoon thinking about things I would like to pursue. I would like to attempt to learn some basic verbal skills in Chinese. I would also like to start branching out in my running. I feel the next step is perhaps a triathlon. And someone sure has inspired me.

Also, I have a projects. I have so many pictures collected over the last 9 years of my stay here in Europe that I just stashed in boxes. I want to organize them in some matter. I don't think I would want to scrapbook them all, but certainly a few, and perhaps put the rest in albums.

I want to read again. I never really stopped reading, but I feel so out of the literary loop. I want to get lost in a book again. Read it in 2 days. Not over the course of 2 weeks.

I know I would be kidding myself if I believed that I will suddenly have all this free time when school is over, because other responsibilities will fill its vacuum. However, I am nonetheless very excited. Just two more exams!