Thursday, May 26, 2005

Spectrum of feelings

When someone leaves you for a time period, there is this whole spectrum of feelings:

1. There is the time before the departure, when you anticipate the pain that will be felt once they are no longer physically present in your daily life.
2. Then there is the actual gut wrenching departure.
3. Then there is the getting used to them being gone, but still aching about them having left.
4. And then finally there is the excitement about them returning.
5. And then the exuberance when they are finally back.

So, if we assume that someone is going to be gone for 12 months, would it be strange to already be in Stage 4 after a mere three months?

I am just so excited about my boyfriend coming back…and yes, I know he has only been gone 12 weeks, not 12 months yet. I can’t explain it, but I am on Cloud 9 now thinking about all the things that I am looking forward to doing with him when he returns.

I don’t know where the sudden euphoria is coming from, but I have had it for at least two weeks now. I think it was perhaps because I was so scared about this deployment, and so afraid of how it was going to affect our relationship. But since I have the feeling that our relationship has only gotten stronger since he left, perhaps now I am just giddy with excitement to see what the future holds for us. The deployment was like a huge bridge to cross (okay, we are still crossing it, but it’s not as treacherous as I had imagined, and I know I will be able to reach the other side now).

However, I fully expect it to dip again into Stage 3. Somehow I am thinking that the closer I get to the end, the more unbearable the separation will be. Then the days and hours will slow down to the speed of molasses.

But for the time being, I am already dreaming of the reunion ceremony…and he hasn’t even come back for R&R yet!


Blogger HookersGirl said...

hey girl ;-)
well Iam really happy for you and I know about you being excited! I need to tell you though, Iam still at level 3.) Maybe it is that my husband is coming back in october, maybe it is just being me not to get too excited before I know for sure that we have just another few weeks to go. I don't really think that the last few weeks before they are finally come back are going to seem longer then the weeks before. I can see myself being excited 2 month before and just being happy so the time will fly by. If it will not be like that I will let you know and then we can hang out together filled out with thoughts what we are going to do together when the guys are back ;-)

12:56 AM  
Blogger Umhakima said...

The stages are weird, that is for sure. you go back and forth, one to another. I think that anything you feel, no matter what or when you feel it, that it is normal under these circumstances. whatever gets you through, that is what I say.

5:03 AM  
Blogger Teresa said...

A positive- happy attitude is the best one to try and hang onto for as long as you can. At least it's better than sitting around being miserable. *grin*

5:24 AM  

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