Tuesday, May 22, 2007

The Bride versus the Wedding Registry

My fiancé and I have both been living on our own for many years, and have thus accumulated enough dishes, plates, knives, forks, glasses, towels etc over the years. Now we have double everything, and granted it doesn't all match, but I can't stand to throw anything away. Not only for all the memories associated with everything, but just because "if it ain't broke, why fix it, or why throw it away?"

We will be getting married on Kauai, and many friends are going to make the trip to attend. I am so grateful, and am adamant about not wanting a gift registry. Firstly, we just don't need new stuff, and secondly, people are already spending so much money to make the trip and that brings us more joy than a material gift.

However, when I announced this to my fiancé back in January, he said: "that's a great idea, but I am going to tell you, people are going to be unhappy." And I replied: "perhaps, but they won't be my friends or family...it will be from your side." And sure enough, there are grumblers.

His sister is throwing us a "couple's shower". My father said: "that's sounds dirty...and everyone is invited? Interesting..." Dirty birdie. My fiancé said: "Hey, I am feeling really guilty about the no registry thing, people want to get us stuff."

And now I am feeling even more guilty, because people are giving us presents there, and then presents again at our wedding? Man...

Anyhoo....yesterday, I talked to my fiancé and he says: "I did a bad thing." Oh, really? What? "I registered." I asked where. "Home Depot." Oh...okay. Cool. "And Lowes."

And I checked out the registry and just laughed. It's all nuts and bolts, wrenches, saw horses (um...do you even have a saw?)

Today he announced that he had also registered at Sears. Oh, my. He had registered for a saw there.

And then I realized...wow, he is really into this. He is giddy. Not quite a groomzilla, but I think this is as excited as I have seen him about the whole wedding preparation. I mean, there is no talk about what thread count our sheets will be, but rather table clamps, a work cabinet for the garage, etc.

The list oozes testosterone. It's pretty funny.

Anyway, I have given in and everyone wins. The guests who want to get us things, can. My fiancé is happy, because he can create this huge manly wish-list. And I am happy, because watching him create this wish-list is like seeing a five-year old at Toys'R Us and giving them a shopping spree.

Update: I don't want this to seem like I am ungrateful for a shower...I love parties...and this one looks like it is going to be fun...and the food tasty!


Blogger Teresa said...

Excellent compromise. *grin* You'll mostly get stuff you need rather than extra stuff you don't want (there will always be someone buying you a crockpot or something like that).

And since he hasn't had time to accumulate tools and stuff - you all will be very happy you've got them.

Sounds like things are going very well. *grin*

5:30 AM  
Blogger Homefront Six said...

I love it! MacGyver registered at Home Depot and Sears. I don't think we had Lowe's where we were at the time. It's perfect though! All of his fraternity brothers were thrilled to shop at HD and Sears rather than Macy's or Dillard's.

And it's not going to cost us much to come to your wedding! hee hee!

5:41 AM  
Blogger CaliValleyGirl said...

Ooooh....don't you dare get us anything, HFS!

So very excited about a Hawaiian Milblogging conference/wedding!

8:09 AM  
Blogger CaliValleyGirl said...


You're going to laugh, but I am a crockpot freak: we already have one! But yes...hopefully we don't get another one.

4:31 PM  
Blogger airforcewife said...

People got angry at us for the same reason!

I think it's an excellent compromise you've got going. :)

12:43 AM  
Blogger Shayna said...

My SIL and BIL threw my hubby and I a couples shower... not dirty at all. It was a blast... a true party! Hubby got lots of power tools and to be honest I can't remember what all I got...

If anything let them get you the gifts... you can always re-gift them. :) JK... :)

5:44 AM  
Blogger Stacy Kaye said...

That's pretty cute. Honestly, one of my favorite gifts was also our crockpot! I used it at least three or four times a month, if not more! :) However, one of my best all time gifts was a tool set that my dad gave me when I moved out on my own for the very first time. I have gotten so much use out of that thing!

7:21 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

I actually have sent out re-thank you cards. When I thanked people right after my wedding, I really didn't know how useful certain things were going to be. A few years later, I re-wrote a few people and thanked them again for things that were excellent gifts, things I probably would've never bought myself but that I now can't live without.
I also am really glad that I kept the list I made the thank you cards from, so I will always have a listing of those addresses and the corresponding gifts. I have looked back at that many times when I can't remember whether so-and-so gave us this item.

3:29 AM  
Blogger KBG said...

BY FAR the thing my husband was most excited about was using the "registry gun" at Target before our wedding. He kept going back in and adding things. Ridiculous things. I don't know why they love it, they just do.

8:35 PM  

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