Friday, October 21, 2005

Gay Marine's diary

Okay, so I am really immature. I mean, I can get the giggles about anything...especially a cheesey romance story between an gay American Marine and Iraqi he is checking out while patroling:

I follow him with my eyes. So I'm watching my Iraqi soccer player walk down the street and he looks back--in that way. There's no way we can do anything, but I'm desperate for a verbal acknowledgment of what we both know. He figures out how.

"You have wife?" he asks.

"No, no wife," I say. "You?"

"No wife," he answers.

Then those beautiful brown eyes lit up. I just smile. We're making out big-time with our words.

"You're beautiful," he says quietly.

We stand there, enjoying the torture of our situation. "You have ...?" And he pantomimes the action for lip balm. I dig in my pocket and produce my dirty, half-used tube. I've got to tell you, I don't think anyone's ever put on lip balm in a sexier way. "What you call ...? And he kisses the air, making a kissing noise. "Yes, kiss. We call it kiss," I reply. "Kiss," he repeats and hands back the ChapStick. "No, you keep it," I say, putting my hand up to refuse it. "Kiss," he repeats and pushes it into my palm.

Okay... but pleeeeease...this is soooo cheesey and funny. I mean, you know that the straight male soldiers are probably flirting a lot with Iraqi females, so it's not a surprise that a gay soldier would be flirting with a gay Iraqi guy...but, I am finding his diary...well, sooo dramatic. I mean, it reminds me of Beverly Hills 90210 and Brenda and Dylan flirting with each other, in a way I found so convincing when I was 14, but now just makes me gag with laughter.

Please, can someone else tell me that this is funny, too? Will it help if I say that the play he wrote and performed in on the basis of his experiences in Iraq obviously wasn't that successful, and now he is playing the trumpet for Cindy Sheehan?

Okay...I am probably going to hell now. But at least I can count on the company of my friends.


Blogger Sarah said...

The scary part is when he says this:

There are a lot of people I would like to kill today because of what they are doing to my country and my constitution, and innocent people around the world are dying because of these people. Please, don’t construe that as I’m about to go to a book depository or anything.

He'd rather kill the president than terrorists? Wow.

10:56 PM  
Blogger Girl on the Blog said...

"I didn't cry in front of them, but I tell you, when I got back in the theater, it tore me up pretty good." Oh..Please...

This is hilarious!!! I will see you in hell... ;)

12:06 AM  
Blogger Jen said...

I've told you before that you need to save me a seat because I don't like to wait - especially in that *#&$#( heat!

1:56 AM  
Blogger Teresa said...

So... his job is writing really bad "gay romance" novels? Right? I'm laughing and cringing at the same time. I hate to see someone embarrass themselves so publicly.

I wonder how much is true and how much is cooked up in his imagination. *snickering*

As for the stat of 64,000 gay troops... I wonder where they got THAT one! It's the kind of stat that people spit out and never get questioned about.

3:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes it's funny. But, very cute too.

6:01 AM  
Blogger BLACKFIVE said...

Heh. You said, "Playing the trumpet"...

9:00 PM  
Blogger Household6 said...

Can I jump into the handbasket to hell too? Thank you Blackfive for the Beavis image that flashed with your comment...


10:22 AM  

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