Wednesday, February 01, 2006


Last night I was chatting with my boyfriend. He sent me a presentation that is due for an online class so that I may proof-read. I read it, and made a few suggestions, and then emailed him his works cited page, which I had offered to do, to lighten his load a bit. We also discussed our plans for an upcoming vacation.

And it struck me, how routine this was. How “normal”. Other than the fact that we were separated by thousands of miles, we were having a perfectly normal conversation. A conversation that wouldn't have been much different would he have been physically present. We have settled into such a routine since he deployed. Our conversations aren't the desperate rambling events they used to be, back in the days of the 15 minute phone call, every few days.

No, now they are normal everyday conversations.

I am so lucky. In fact so lucky, it's almost embarrassing for me to admit it. Yes, I have gone through this whole deployment with my boyfriend, and yes, it has been very difficult. However, I have been able to communicate with him very often.

I can grumble all I want, and scrunch up up my face and cry and moan about this separation...however, I can chat, webcam and internet telephone with my boyfriend on a regular basis. In fact, every day. We don't always, but the fact is, we can.

That is one of the benefits of being together with a pilot. Logistically, they have to be in the same place, and not at a remote base. Aircraft need to be maintained, fueled-up, etc. So there are no long stretches at a forward operating base for him.

He also has private quarters, where he has his laptop, which he can leave running all day long online. So I can leave him messages in IM, and simply the sight of his icon in IM is a sign of life for me.

Yes, this deployment is hard. But I can't imagine how much harder it could have been for me – what it is like for the spouses and significant others of soldiers who are out of contact for longer periods of time, who don't have the access to communication like my boyfriend does. The wives of infantry soldiers, of Marines, special forces, Navy Seals, etc. I just can't imagine how that must be. And I am in complete awe of them and their strength, and so very very thankful for how “easy” I have it.


Blogger dyzgoneby said...

I am envious of you....LOL...but very happy for you. You are very lucky.

Contact with will me monthly at best. If he was a letter writer, or knew how to actually work his way around a computer, life might be different, but nope not him. I just look forward to a one liner email or letter. Gotta love my Marine. God I miss the days of the 15 minute conversations about nothing. I'm still waiting for another phone call since "Boots on the Ground."

Proudly standing beside my Marine and all our Military.

5:45 PM  
Blogger erika said...

It's funny that you posted this because I was just thinking the exact same thing last night - mostly about the normalcy of our conversations. Matt and I still talk about basically the same things we would were he sitting right in front of me.

I often think about how different it would be if we weren't in constant contact, and even further than that, how much technology has "bettered" the situation of deployments. I can't imagine how it would've been to be the wife of a soldier deployed in one of the World Wars, the Korean War, the Vietnam War; hell, even the first Gulf War didn't have the communication technology we have today.

I'm grateful for any amount of communication I get with Matt - it's a great reminder that distance really is all that separates us.

5:51 PM  
Blogger nicole said...

Yes...I used to think (during last year's deployment to OIF II) how lucky our generation is as a whole...can you imagine what the spouses, significants, and family members went through during Vietnam and WWII where they received a random LETTER every now and then?? We live in a great age.

6:08 PM  
Blogger Stacy Kaye said...

I've never been through a deployment, but Kevin and I had a long distance relationship-me in Cali, he in Canada-for over a year. I remember sitting with my laptop on my lap, just waiting for him to sign on to MSN. I was so thankful to be able to "talk" to him every night. Sometimes we talked until 1 or 2 in the morning. I didn't get a lot of sleep, but I was thankful anyway. I often think of you guys that have to go through deployments and such, and wonder how you do it. I'm glad that you have had an opportunity for "normal" conversations with your guy. Someone once sent me an e-mail about how times are so much harder now than they used to be, but I think they are so much better! I LOVE technology! It has allowed me to be in constant, daily communication with my family, even though I may go for over a year without actually seeing them. Yes, it's not the same as an actual hug, but it's SO much better than nothing!

8:13 PM  
Blogger Teresa said...

Yes, technology is a wonderful thing! I think back to the days of WW1 and especially WW2 - when a soldier would leave home and not be back for several years... and only letters - not even phone calls home. How difficult that must have been for them.

Oddly enough - you will find it way different once he's back. Mainly because there isn't an urgency to get all your talking done at one time... so to speak. You can just wander into the room and say something then wander back out.

Whether it's being apart or being back together - these are huge adjustments. But I can see you and your BF will do just fine. :-)

8:22 PM  
Blogger Day by Day said...

21 more days... you have been so great through your seperation... :) Counting Down the days for ya!

4:28 AM  

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